This week is the butchest, most macho episode of TMTH that’s ever been! It’s an undeserved promotion riding on an assumption of upper body strength, all propelled by prostate cancer. Enjoy!
QUESTIONS:
What new Covid-18 related habits are you hoping to maintain once life returns to normal? –Beth
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Have y’all been watching What We Do In The Shadows?
Mental Load, includes “Emotional Labor”.
Yeah. The kitchen and the clean clothes thing… it’s crazy.
I was gonna say more about emotional labor but meh, I think mental load is a better name for it
On the subject of the female friend who felt safer going somewhere with William. In many cases, just having a male bodied person with you is enough to make the creepers move on.
I have the opposite problem, I HAVE THINGS TO SAY and that itself is a reason.
How the F do you ever talk William???
With great exertion and inadequate execution.
Yet duty persistently demands the effort.
Big same William, re: always trying to make feels better and feeling terrible if you think you’ve done stuff to make things worse.
Here here!
You’re not the boss of me!
Loved the movie. Watched the first… two?… episodes of the show, and wasn’t that into it. Might revisit, because I love Matt Berry, and have since grown to love Natasha Crazy-Greek-Name, the female lead.
False advertising!
I was expecting a mega-dose of testosterone! I was hoping for a little help with my “barely-there” stache. But nooooo….
I’d say if we are defining masculinity as being macho or butch, then neither of you are masculine.
But maybe what Tony was saying about being raised male is more about the effects of male privilege? I do think both of you express your ideas with a confidence that might come from that. I certainly notice in a lot of my female students an overabundance of qualifiers when they express themselves that I don’t notice much when you speak. I know I’ve had to edit phrases like that out of my own writing a lot.
And then there’s the fact that “human” and “agency” both are assumed male, while to be gendered at all is to be “othered” (and female). So paradoxically when guys are extremely macho (body-builders come to mind) and into gender display, that puts them more into that Other and female position. And to have agency, to be considered human, to just be your individual self, tends to associate you with maleness. Which is really gosh darn complicated. (I’m reminded of an essay by Dorothy L. Sayers, “Are Women Human?”)
I don’t know why I know a lot of trans folks, but I seem to know more than the average person. I do know one famous trans person, Hari Nef, because she was in theatrical productions at Newton South High School with my son. Maybe it’s because I teach college and I have a kid who is now in his 20s. More people in his generation have been able to come out, I think.
Which reminds me, Will, have you seen “Disclosure” yet?
I think you’re right. I think there’s an assumption of privilege being raised a male. People often use the word “confidence” to describe it in males, but I think that’s a poor choice. Plenty of non-confident males. But there is an assumption that to speak is allowed and accepted, regardless of the circumstance. Most of us (males) aren’t raised to believe that’s a male thing, we’re just unaware that women are *not* being raised to believe the same.
And of course, that’s only one dimension in it.
It’s similar to the experience my father and I have shared, being big, tall men. We can intimidate without even trying. We both agonize over it, and tried not to be too “big” in social scenes… but it’s too easy to do. And when we want something enough, we both unconsciously make use of it very effectively.
Side note: If you haven’t figured it out by the number of comments I’ve left this week; I’ve been working on some looooooooong running scripting projects for work. Sitting watching log files to see if things are doing what I expect them to do has been giving me enough time/spare brainpower to actually try and get caught up a little.
Norton Critical Edition: Yeah, I’m with Tony on this. My first thought when William started talking about it was you he was going to say something about the anti-virus.
Warrior Nun: Still a no for me. I wasn’t aware it was a comic first, though I’m not really surprised by it. Maybe if I could track the comic down I’d enjoy it, but I can’t see myself going to the effort to do so.
The Umbrella Academy: We watched most of Season 1 and then got distracted by something else before finishing it.
The 100: I found something about this show oddly interesting. I didn’t watch much of it and it was never what I’d call good, but it kept my interest for at least a few episodes.
Locke & Key: I’ve read a number of the graphic novels and liked those. I’ve watched some of the episodes and while not awful (like Warrior Nun) these aren’t as good as the graphic novels. I mean it’s fun seeing how they interpret some of the various keys abilities but not compelling enough for me to want to finish it.
Actual/Live Play TTRPG: If you enjoy watching these sorts of things and don’t hate Star Trek, I’d highly recommend Shield of Tomorrow and Clear Skies. Note: Clear Skies has some of the players (though as different characters) as Shield of Tomorrow and takes place after Shield of Tomorrow.
Old Guard: Yup, a good action film.
Palm Springs: Heh, I enjoyed the crap of out that film.
Mental Load: I don’t recall hearing the phrase used in this way before but that’s worth thinking about.
Transgendered: Not sure but kind of wondering if you’re talking about our shared friends who came out over the last year. My general feeling about them or really anybody coming out is if it makes them happier then I’m all for it.
While I have always identified as a cis-male; I wouldn’t say that I’ve felt comfortable in the traditional American, male society. I’ve never had much interest in the stereotypical topics of traditional American, male society (e.g. sports). Additionally while I have male friends; I tend to prefer the company/friendship of women. I’ve never really thought about they whys of that; but my off the cuff answer would be I find myself as being generally calmer around women. Like there’s less pressure some how? I’ve been all that introspective; so I’m not really sure why I feel there is less pressure.
Physical fitness/self-defense: I’ve never had any training in self-defense and don’t do nearly enough to work on my physical fitness. But like Tony, I’ve been asked many times to accompany people as performative security.
Asking about others/telling people about myself: I too find this to be a difficult thing to balance. In general, I am very quiet around new people/at new jobs/etc but over time as I imagine I’ve figured out the social rules & norms that should be used around people I open up and speak more freely. Though one of my personal pet peeves is when people talk over one another; so I try to avoid doing that myself and frequently give up on sharing some ideas as by the time there’s a break in other people talking the conversation has completely moved on from what I wanted to comment on.
COVID Habits that should stick around: Wearing a mask when you don’t feel well!
While I like working from home some; I do miss going into the office. Also, it’s funny hearing you talk about maybe going back into the office in August/September 2020 when we’ve still not gone back here/now in April 2021.