Episode 80 : Grumpy Old Men

Tony and William complain about young people! Then the Producer gets involved, for a discussion of “hot vs. crazy. And we hear about William’s upbringing in the small town of Mayberry… I mean, Melcher Dallas.

Then William explains how sad his life is, and Tony laughs until he pukes.


Good times… good times…



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21 Responses to Episode 80 : Grumpy Old Men

  1. Bloodsparrow says:

    The line from “Hello My Baby” is…

    Telephone and tell me I’m you’re own.

    It’s an old timey version of “More Then Worlds”…

    …and a slightly more modern version of “Greensleeves”, where every verse ends with…

    And yet though wilt not love me.

    Because Anne Boleyn wouldn’t do the nasty with King Henry VIII until they were married (unlike her sister who bore one of the many bastard sons of Henry).

    So I suppose Anne’s response song would have been the English Renaissance equivalent of “All The Single Ladies”… If she had been musically inclined.

    • Bloodsparrow says:

      On the Hot > Crazy thing…

      William. You’re forgetting you’re William.

      Also, I’m from Southern California, so gals had an excuse up to a point because it doesn’t really get that cold and we tend not to have clothes and shoes that are good for really cold weather.

      You’re also forgetting that a lot of the more silly parts of women’s fashion makes us look twee and constantly in danger of falling over. So it invites dudes (or other ladies if that’s what you’re in to) to act as a protector by offering his/her coat to the stupid bint who holds fashion over her ability to walk down the street because THESE SHOES ARE SO CUTE!

      That’s not ENTIRELY true, and a little unfair of me, but your discussion reminds me of a particular trip to a friend’s mountain cabin. It was made very clear that this was a rustic mountain cabin, that it was going to be COLD and possibly snow. But these two girls dressed up as if they were going to a goth club for the evening and had to be carried up the driveway to the cabin because their shoes had NO traction and there was ice all over the damn place.

      • Bloodsparrow says:

        On the subject of porn with story…

        I seem to recall an episode of The Nerdist with a guest who is a porn actress and was famous for being in a series of Star Trek: The Next Generation “Porn Parodies” in which she played… Tasha Yarr I think?

        And she was describing the plot which sounded actually fairly interesting.

        So I guess nerds and women like story.

        • themagicaltalkinghat says:

          It was porn star Dana Dearmond, and she was playing Ensign Ro.

          Coincidentally, Dana Dearmond is the one I was talking about, a few weeks back, when I said I’d discovered a porn star I really liked with verisimilitude.

          That being said, I haven’t seen the Star Trek: TNG parody.

    • Bloodsparrow says:

      Errr. Make that “More Than Words” then “More Then Worlds”…


    • Bloodsparrow says:

      William! You’re wearing a SEX HAT! That’s why!

      (No context for Tony)

      • Bloodsparrow says:

        Geeze William. Jessica Fletcher much?

        • William says:

          I’m… not sure what that means. I mean, I know who Jessica Fletcher is, but I’m struggling to figure out what it means… as… a verb… ?

          Sorry. 🙁

          • Bloodsparrow says:

            She was the main character in the TV show “Murder, She Wrote”.

            She was a murder mystery writer who would always stumble upon some horrible real life crime and help solve it with plucky New England can-do…ness.

            Every time this woman walks out of her house, somebody is horribly murdered.

          • William says:

            Re: your clarification below…

            Ah… I get it. 🙂

            I’m just, uh… a little slow on the, um… uptake…

          • William says:

            Hm… er… clarification above… whatever. I don’t understand how this blog posts things!

          • Mark says:

            Hmm, if William is Jessica Fletcher then I don’t think I can be friends with him anymore. After all, her friends eventually end up dead or as murderers.

    • Bloodsparrow says:

      Okay, guys look. I don’t know why, but I expected Tony to pick up on the fact that I was referencing with the crappy opening sequence of Speed when I sent in the hostage situation question.

      I wasn’t trying to get you guys to consider saving 5 hypothetical people over 2 hypothetical people.

  2. Beth says:

    Yes, women’s fashion is crazy. Perhaps Bloodsparrow makes a good point with allowing men (or women) to fill the protector role for someone who is more concerned about appearance over health. That said – if you wear a coat to a bar, it often gets very smoky, spilled on, stepped on or otherwise dirty. There’s nowhere to put it when you’re standing around or dancing and it’s far too warm inside to just wear it. I have been places where my coat has been stashed behind some sort of arcade game, but you still run the risk of it being dirty or stolen while you’re not standing guard of the gap behind the machine. There really is no good answer based on the current set of constraints.

    When I’m in class, I can put my coat on my chair. There really is no good reason not to wear a coat then except that you’re too dumb to observe the weather prior to leaving the house.

    Story can be good – I think the “logic” behind what is see on screen can be important to the viewer’s understanding and enjoyment.

    Tony – I was absolutely with you. While William was telling the chair story, I was laughing at my desk and had to wipe tears from my eyes. It is unfortunate that the guy died, but the idea of cleaning up the poop and selling it was just too funny. The other tragedy that follows William around was also entertaining, but not nearly as tear jerkingly funny.

    William – are you the reason I got two emails this week from a woman in Louisiana who wanted me to send her the original memorial photo of (her husband? brother?) a police officer who was killed in August? I know this is only peripherally related to me, but that’s the same level of correspondence/intimacy that we share, so now I’m wondering if you caused it. Thanks a lot.

    • William says:

      It’s impossible to determine if I’m the cause. But if knowing Tony has taught me anything, it’s that actual causes have absolutely no bearing whatsoever on the level of satisfaction one gains from blaming me anyway.

    • Bloodsparrow says:

      The point of having no-where to put your coat is a good one.

      Also, in regards to the chair story and the ensuing discussion about the funnel cake thing, I laughed so hard I counted it on my work-out journal.

  3. Kiya Bee says:

    What gets me are the girls who wear miniskirts or short-shorts with Ugg (or similarly big and fluffy) boots, in cold weather of course. My mother always made me wear a coat in the winter, and I didn’t dare take it off for fear that she might find out that I wasn’t wearing it. I also wasn’t allowed to wear skimpy clothing, but that’s never been something I desired to do. Of course now I realize that my mom probably never would have known if I didn’t wear the coat at recess or if I changed my clothes at school, since she wasn’t all-seeing or all-knowing. Besides, my sister was around to pull those shenanigans.

    I totally laughed at William’s chair story. It’s up there with the funnel cake story. 🙂

  4. Mark says:

    I sense a great disturbance in the pod-o-verse, as though tens of voices cried out in disgust at hearing this is the only podcast out there that likes them as more than just a friend.

    Hitting 80 episodes is cool, but it’d be more impressive if you’d been doing the podcast for 80 years. Just sayin’. I guess we’ll have to look foward to what you do for episode 100.

    William’s project: I think it’s been said before, but I’d be happy to volunteer to help out with the project (though I don’t know if my voice is talented enough).

    Katy Perry song: *whew* For a moment there I thought William was going to say that’s what his Friday nights were like back in high school. I’m glad it turned into a rant about somebody else instead of shattering my illusions of William’s innonence. Also, Jimmy Buffet put a song back in the 70s that’s popularly known as “Let’s get drunk and screw”.

    Wow, William can really go off on a tangent when he’s of a mind to.

    OMG, William’s gonna kill Tony with these stories!

    Also, William you never warned me about Applied!

  5. jas says:

    I really saw a big connection between the ending conversation about the utilitarian way of looking at human beings and the earlier conversation about pornography–especially when William was talking about how TV commercials are based on the idea that we’re controlled by our biology to buy things. That kinda shows that commercials are pornography, and that pornography are commercials.

    Yeah, the inclusion of stories is supposed to make porn more attractive to women–and it’s been shown to be pretty successful. 50 Shades of Grey is the best-selling book of all time.

    Two recent things I’ve read or watched about pornography. First, I’ve read a lot of articles that say that women (and even girls as young as 8) and also some men are going for bikini waxes or using other methods to trim or go hairless–because this is the image of people’s bodies seen in pornography. Two-thirds of women in their twenties are doing so. Mothers are urged to take their daughters for “virgin waxes” so that they will never grow hair.

    And TED hosted a recent talk on “The Great Porn Experiment.” Experimenters wanted to see what the effect of internet porn had been on young men growing up on it. One of the problems with the experimental model was that they could not find a control group. That is, they could not find a large enough group of young college-age men who did not regularly use internet porn. What they did find, however, was that internet porn hooked young men on a novelty arousal pattern: sexual response was tied to “Being alone, Voyeurism, Clicking, Searching, Multiple tabs, Constant novelty, Shock or surprise.” This leads to an eventual desensitization which is causing something never seen before–widespread ED in young men.

    And the whole Hot>Crazy. I think in our culture crazy IS hot, as is danger, unavailability, etc. Anything which can lead to a sense that satisfaction will be delayed or will never occur–because that’s how the story can keep on going, and going, and going….except that actually we’re not happy in this constant state of excitement so–depression, ADHD, ED and other reactions to addiction.

    Yes, I out-grumpied the guys here for sure :p

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