Episode 83 : Love and Marriage

Posted on October 11, 2012 by themagicaltalkinghat

William and Tony get serious about love, relationships, and how to find that special someone. We also have a big announcement about two of the podcast hosts! You don’t want to miss it!

 

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11 Responses to Episode 83 : Love and Marriage

  1. Bloodsparrow says:
    October 11, 2012 at 8:59 am

    Thank you for providing descriptions of the visual gags.

    Reply
  2. Mark says:
    October 12, 2012 at 10:03 am

    Giant car for the lose!

    Tony: Why do you hate Alaska & Puerto Rico? Also that’s the worst way to take a nap I’ve ever heard.

    William: It’s good to see that your fear of TMTH has diminished enough that you volunteered to reach into it.

    The One was a bad, if entertaining, movie.

    Blood test before marriage: According to LiveStrong the primary purpose was to protect would-be spouses from contracting venereal and other diseases and infecting their unborn babies.

    William: You should have know better than to let Tony pull you into that joke, seriously.

    Tony: At best that joke was comedy glue; it definitely wasn’t comedy gold.

    Reply
  3. Beth Alpha says:
    October 15, 2012 at 9:30 am

    Tony, your nap taking style is pretty worthless.

    Yes, Tony, William, fellow listeners, other internet trollers, I have been with my bf for a while now and we are still very happy together. We are working on the transition from significant dating relationship to seriously planning our futures together.
    I thought your discussion of “the one” was interesting and entertaining. I think I agree with you both that there are several “ones” out there and that the success of the relationship depends on the dynamics of it. Also, that culture encourages us to find that one person and everything will be perfect. I do think that there are people and personalities that are more compatible with one another, but the willingness to work through any differences that arise between the two of you together is what makes it last or fail. I have trouble foreseeing any conflict that we couldn’t work through if we were both interested in resolving it.

    William – for the next 50 years, can I want him to get better at picking up after himself in a timely fashion, or does that qualify as something I can’t want/expect to change?

    Reply
  4. William says:
    October 16, 2012 at 7:29 am

    🙂

    Well, keep in mind — the question is, could you live with it not changing? You can desire the change all you want. Perhaps it even will change. But if it doesn’t change — ever — would it remain the minor annoyance it is now, or would it eventually drive you so crazy that you can’t stand it anymore?

    Of course, the point of the question isn’t necessarily for a person to once-and-for-all come to terms with the things that bug them about their partner. Rather, the question is intended to uncover a person’s present and future expectations regarding their partner. Once a person is aware of these expectations, they can start asking other questions — like, are these expectations reasonable? Does my partner even know about these expectations? Does this issue bother me a lot more than I let on today, such that I’ll make a much bigger deal about it in the future (potentially indicating to my partner that my feelings have changed about this issue when they really haven’t)? Does this expectation reflect a deeper expectation? For example, a person might think that if their partner becomes better at managing money, this will be a sign that their partner has grown more mature/responsible in general. Once the person has become aware of this much deeper expectation (a general increase of maturity over time), she/he might also realize that she/he barely tolerates her/his partner’s immature behavior today because she/he expects it will one day improve. This is just the kind of thing a person (and her/his partner) ought to work out before they plan an entire life together.

    Then again, you may just realize that if you’re still complaining about this to your partner 50 years from now, it won’t bother you so much (though you’ll still wish you didn’t have to, of course). 🙂

    Then the next question is… how will your partner feel about still being complained to about it after 50 years?

    But… now I imagine I’ve given you more answer than you were looking for. 🙂

    Reply
  5. SirGuido says:
    October 26, 2012 at 6:10 am

    In regards to the relationship talk, I feel very much the same as you do Tony. While I love my wife dearly and deeply, and in lots of ways I don’t know how I ever managed without her, I also feel as if I don’t know what I would do without her now. On an intellectual level I know she is not perfect in every way, and that I would function just fine being paired with another person. However, on an emotional level its a very different thing entirely. Yes we argue, yes we “fight”, neither of us is so perfect for the other that our lives are completely devoid of any obstacles, but its how we overcome those obstacles together that makes our marriage work. I don’t think there is a person anywhere on this planet that would mesh with me so perfectly that there would be absolutely no disagreement. That person would basically have to hold me as their inspiration for their life and their goals, and that would be stupid. So, yeah, no such thing as this fantastical “one” that people all look for in life. I think the true “the one” is the person you have the ability to work with, live with, and manage your life with, for the rest of your life.

    Reply
  6. Leo Tolstoy says:
    November 1, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.”

    Reply
  7. Jas says:
    February 7, 2013 at 11:50 am

    William was talking about how our culture teaches bullying as the way people are supposed to be. It’s useful to call it bullying because the most insidious thing about our culture is that all these power relationships are presented in a glossy package which hides the inequality.

    Women used to have to get married (or go into the church) because it was an economic reality of their unequal status. Then instead of the forced nature of it being obvious it got hidden in this story that women are obsessed with romance (which many women themselves believe). So it seems to be something about the nature of women and what they want rather than economic necessity. And the extreme inequality of rich and poor is supposedly not because of actual ways in which a variety of factors favor the rich getting richer, but because the rich person deserves it, and the poor want the “freedom” to attain it some day when they too deserve it. And because we all keep getting sold useless things which we’ve been told we want. It’s insidious because most people think not only is this the way things are, and are supposed to be, but that it’s their heart’s desire. No wonder people are emotionally messed up.

    Reply

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